About two years ago, I bought a Gardyn hydroponics system. I had a whole list of reasons for this, primarily things like “more nutrient density” and “wide variety of edible plants I can’t get at the supermarket” along with a life-long interest in nature and gardening. When I was growing up, my family had a certified Backyard Wildlife Habitat, I played in the woods all day, and I figured out how to make ink out of pokeberries.
A hydroponic system is a good way to go when you live in an apartment and it’s not feasible to do much balcony gardening (too much sun exposure from the west, logistical problems with keeping things watered).
The Gardyn has sort of training wheels for people who are new to gardening.
Mine started malfunctioning a while ago for stupid reasons.
I decided to re-arrange my home office/studio so it would look better for my self-promo video. And I did not half-ass this process.
I went DEEP into Feng Shui room arrangement principles for this. I put the desk in the “command” position. I arranged items on the desk to fit the square.
Feng Shui works like this:
I then proceeded to match the furniture in the room and the wall decor to this chart.
That meant moving the Gardyn to the “wealth” corner (it was originally in the “travel and helpful people” corner, which now has a book shelf and my Buster Sword replica). I’m totally serious about how I re-arranged the room. The next day I told a co-worker about it and we laughed our asses off about how her husband would react if she insisted on rearranging the rooms in their house this way.
Scarlet didn’t mind since she got an upgraded cat tree in the “family” section of the room (because she’s my baby, duh).
Here’s where the entire project went sideways: the Gardyn REFUSED to re-connect to the wifi after I moved it from one corner of the room to the other.
In the process of trying to fix the problem, I realized that my ISP had discontinued the band my Gardyn needed in order to connect (the 2.4G band), and they were overcharging me by $30 a month. So I cut them off, returned all their equipment, and got a Netgear Nighthawk.
I thought of the hotspot thing because I use a mobile hotspot for work (to connect the printer to my photo booth at various weddings and other events), I remembered people at the Treehouse Gallery attaching a USB dongle to random laptops while living out of a yurt in Regent’s Park for months at a time (hey, it was the Great Recession… and it hit harder over in the UK), and I’ve been reading “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport anyhow. I’ve already done things like putting a SONY Dream machine with a CD player in my room and re-burning the same CD I listened to in 2003 featuring artists like Maaya Sakamoto and Gackt Camui (think Japanese Glam Rock). I have DVDs, records, and books. The main thing that got me back on social media was needing to do it for work/classes/professional networking. It was NOT a stretch for me to go, “what if I just did this internet thing like I’m back at the Treehouse Gallery? That was one of the best chapters of my life anyways.”
The book “Digital Minimalism” explains why this kind of thing enhances life, not takes away from it. Not to mention the chunk of money this saves every month!
Now What?
So, it turns out Smart Home devices are not designed for “What about the way we did it in Regents Park in 2009?” type internet connections.
The Gardyn adapted just fine, but for some reason the HUE lights that a roommate in Bushwick recommended in 2017 kept knocking the whole thing out. They overwhelm the Netgear Nighthawk for some reason.
So… I thought, “this is stupid– why do I need an overpriced ISP that doesn’t respect me just to change the light colors? Why can’t I run these offline?”
There Totally is an Offline Option
I am absolutely going to be tinkering around with an offline option for my smart devices. It involves a Raspberry Pi and a few other devices and some installation time, but I think it’s worth it. I mean, isn’t the whole point of home gardening to have a hobby that’s collapse-proof? Like even if things hit “Mad Max” levels of post-apocalyptic dysfunction, you still have 10 different kinds of lettuce growing at home.
I also figured out how much money I could save my DIYing my own combinations of rockwool cubes and whatever seeds I want to grow. It can be heirloom seeds, things I trade with family and friends, literally anything. I’ve already figured out which herbs for my “Nine Herb Beer” I can grow this way.
Yes, I have a recipe I call “The Nine Herb Beer.” More about that in the next entry.